Maryland Driver's

If you live in the DC area there is one particular type of car you watch out for. It's not the battered up van, or the car that appears to be one stop sign away from dying in the middle of the road, no it's those cars, you know the ones, the cars that proudly (or not so proudly) display a license plate with the words "Maryland" across the top. No one knows where they come from but everyone knows who they are. They are next to you on the highway and you quickly change lanes to put a buffer lane between the two of you. They are worse than the tourists and they live here. I would venture to say 90% of the accidents that occur everyday in the DC area occur because of the stupidity of Maryland drivers. How is this? Why is this? Can we fix this? My proposal start charging Maryland drivers to leave the state of Maryland... any other thoughts?

And what if my best isn't good enough

I watched Grey's last night because... well because I always watch Grey's on Thursday night. I must admit I was quite annoyed with the afterlife scene's and I was ready for Meredith to just wake up already but something that she said struck me deep enough to keep me up most of the night. Denny asks Meredith what happened in the water, why she didn't fight. Meredith exhausted from fighting it finally admits that she did fight but that it just got too hard and she had to let go. At that moment (although I was still annoyed with the afterlife drama) I totally connected to what she was feeling and it brought me back to feelings I haven't had in so long.

Tossing and turning with these thoughts all night I wondered why I was so bothered. I guess a large part of me remembers what it feels like to wake up in the morning and hope that you would be fortunate enough to get hit by a car so that just for a few days your brain could be silenced, that someone else would have to take care of things and that you might be lucky enough to just be. I remember what it's like to feel like the walls are closing in and suddenly need to escape a room even though nothing happened. To feel so incredibly overwhelmed that you can see nothing but what's right in front of your eyes because to look left, right or ahead would cause you to drown. I know, I've been there, I've lived it.

I remember the night I disappeared in Paris. I just needed to walk, to get away, I wasn't trying to scare anyone but I needed to go. So I walked and walked and walked, I remember the look on his face when I came back, he'd gone almost pale white and I remember wanting to feel bad but not being able to, not understanding what the worry was about. I remember the night where I'd come to the point where there was no way out. I felt trapped and out of options and I needed it all to stop. I wanted the pain to stop. But I remember not being able to go through with it because someone had spent weeks and months telling me that there was more, that I could make it, that there was a light and I just had to be brave and hang on.-- I remember hanging on.

And now I'm here, and I don't feel that pain anymore and I smile out of joy not out of force and I don't think about getting hit by a car and I don't worry about not waking up in the morning and truthfully I don't even wish for it.

But then I get scared. I get scared because here I am and I wonder how I got here and I wonder if I'll slip back. I wonder if I rely on him to much. What if decides to give up? What then? What if my best isn't good enough?

Marry Me???

Okay so it's Friday and I'm sorry but I have to write about Grey's because, well because it's Grey's and that what I do. So does anyone have any idea as to why Burke would ask Christina to marry him after months of silence? I mean seriously? Who does that? Do they have any communication in their relationship what-so-ever? No! Have they ever? No! So what makes them think they should get married? They can't even say I love you to each other while they are awake. Christina is annoying and thinks she's right all the time, she's an intern, she can't cook or clean, what does Burke see in her? And he, he's the most stubborn person on earth. He has multiple personalities and he does not get along with ANYONE. What good does he bring to the relationship. Bottom line both of them are worthless and this whole marry me thing is ridiculous. And George... George, what's going on there??? I have no words for that. And that does not happen often. Anyway, more updates on this next week. For now it's freezing and time for a Starbucks break.

The Yellow Line

Okay so can someone please tell me why metro feels the need to run four car yellow line trains during rush hour? The yellow line is the fastest way to get between DC and VA from the East side of the city, it runs from L'Enfant to the Pentagon two major stations moving millions of people from the Hill back home to the suburbs yet they run four car trains. Let me ask, who makes these fabulous decisions? Have they ever tried to cram into an already overstuffed train while the doors were closing on them? If they had I guarantee they would run six car trains only. It's ridiculous not to mention frustrating and annoying at the end of a long day. To be honest the city has outgrown any use of a four car train and Metro needs to give in already and add the other two cars and make us all happy, or at least happier.

SNOW!

Well, DC saw its first snow storm this weekend. Yes I do say storm because that's how any bit of precipitation is treated around here. I was reading in the express today about how up to one inch of snow fell on the nations capitol causing messy roads. I repeat up to one inch. Now don't get me wrong, I'm happy for the snow and would have been more than happy to have had a day off today but it makes me laugh what a big deal an inch of snow is around here. An inch of snow where I grew up and no one would look twice. Roads being messy? Please, people would keep on trucking, on the way to church yesterday I could count over a dozen people riding around with their hazards on. No lie, for an inch of snow! I laugh.

Well I figured I'd use that as my intro to a more or less grim post. Yesterday my boyfriend and I decided after breakfast to go to a coffee shop and sit and read the paper. We both enjoy warming our hands against a nice cup of joe while reading the latest headlines on paper. I am partial to the New York Times as it is what I consider my hometown newspaper and lets be honest it is simply the superior choice. However after stopping at more than a few newspaper stands on the side of the road we gave up and went to our spot agreeing we would just pick up a paper there. Getting there I was disappointed to find the best I could do was the Washington Post but it was better than nothing so we paid and settled into a spot and began to flip through. It was then that I came across the most disturbing article. A young girl was fatally shot this weekend at a club on U street. That in and of itself is tragic enough but what really got to me was the cities great solution to the problem. The geniuses that run this place decided that the answer is simply to not allow minors into clubs that also sell alcohol. The alcohol being the problem here... what? Hello??? Am I the only one reading this article? This guy came into a club with an illegal handgun and got into a fight with the bouncer and the problem is the alcohol? Maybe the problem is our streets are out of hand, that people are carrying weapons around when they shouldn't be and clearly nothing is being done about it. Maybe the problem is we have so many scum bags running around here thinking they are tough guys and they never face any disciplinary action for their clear lack of respect for anyone in authority in this case the bouncer. Maybe our problem is in a city full of arguably the most educated citizens existing in the United States we cannot seem to find time to educate the cities children on proper etiquette and basic human respect.

I must say I'm quite disappointed at Mayor Finley. I had high hopes for him, young, fresh, new, ready to make a change, but in the midst of tragedy the best he can come up with is a law banning underage children from being in clubs that serve alcohol. Seriously?

Addison and Alex... What?

Okay seriously, no seriously, Addison and Alex? Are you kidding me? First of all why is it that Addison feels the need to sleep with everyman on the show? What's that doing for her? And when did Alex change from being the token ass of the show? I rather liked him that way? Does the show really need one more love story drama? I mean they can't even deal with the ones they currently have going, George and Callie kiss and hold hands but never acknowledge that there's anything going on between them after months now of hating each other. Christina sits in the same room as Burke yet won't speak to him, which really isn't anything new considering it's a little unclear as to how their relationship ever came to be because the first shot we ever got of them having anything going on was in the Residents resting room where they ripped each others clothes off. I don't even think they went on a real date until half way through the first season and that turned into a disaster until they had to save a patients life. Remember when they had them say the "I love you?" umm... how can you love someone you don't even talk to? At this point them not speaking is just getting annoying. And what's with Meredith's father, are they ever going to actually have a conversation? In the three seasons of this show I'm pretty sure they've spoken exactly two words to each other, "do you need something" in season two and "I snore like a train" in season three. Hmmm... yeah we're getting somewhere. Thank goodness Meredith and Derek are doing okay right now they are the glue holding the whole thing together - wow who ever thought that would happen. And what's Sloan doing anyway? For the record he's not that hot and he seriously should just go back to New York I'm still trying to figure out what he does there besides drink coffee. Don't get me wrong I love Grey's, just Addison and Alex? Seriously?

The "City" of Washington DC

I honestly do not understand how it is that they call Washington D.C. a city. I've lived here for over two years and aside from the traffic find little evidence of it having anything remotely reflective of a city. I work on Caiptol Hill -- please do not confuse me for a hill rat, I simply work in that area. I often take a walk around lunch time to get some air and find some food. I do literally mean find food as it is a good ten minute walk to find anything remotely appetizing to eat around here (that alone causes my blood pressure to rise,) what good is a city that has no food? The thing that really gets to me though is here I am working blocks from the Capitol building and I often find that I am the only person on the streets. The one and only person. Seriously. Now how is this? Lets be honest we know no one on the hill is actually working as I am almost 100% positive that the most work they get done in a day is clicking the side button on their blackberry to check the newest news that has come in only to put the annoying device back down and continue figuring out which bar they will be frequenting that evening. I digress. Back to the point, why am I the only person on the street? Is this not a city? Beyond that is this not the Capitol City of the United States? I do not understand it. Walk on the streets of New York, stroll down the Champs Elysees in Paris, walk out the front of a hotel in London and I guarantee you will be met by a crowd of people, not just in the morning rush, or the afternoon lunch hour but all the time. Washington D.C., not so much. And they call it a city.

You want to know why no one is roaming the streets of D.C.? I'll tell you why -- a few main reasons here so stay with me. First, it is the most impossible city to navigate. I mean honestly there are grids and there are patterns and then there is D.C. a city where you can be standing on the identically corner in four different places and not be anywhere near where you need to be. Who thought that was a good idea. Have you ever seen D.C. from an airplane? It's beautiful, all laid out nicely like a puzzle, I ask you, when was the last time you ever walked or drove on the streets of D.C. from a birds eye view? Oh and I didn't mention that bird's eye view doesn't take into consideration the fact that you can only travel one way down half those streets and that direction may randomly change in the middle of the day to becoming one way another direction, isn't that convenient?

Another reason no one is out on the streets is because D.C. is one of the most unsafe cities in the country. Is that even fathomable? There have to be more police here than in the entire country of Germany yet they somehow can't even seem to get the crime down to manageable let alone safe. My job pays for my metro if I choose to metro to work and honestly I would love to take public transportation and avoid the obnoxious bumper to bumper traffic of D.C. but I am too scared to walk the 15 minutes from the metro to my office and back again especially in the winter months when it gets dark early out. Muggings are a common occurrence in this neighborhood. Bearing this in mind I guess it forces the question, why would anyone be out on the streets.

This brings me to my last point (stay with me here) D.C. sucks as a city because there is nothing drawing people in. The theater area is mediocre at best and only houses tours never anything original and even if it did it's so overpriced no 20-something making a DC salary could afford to go anyway. The food, someone told the restaurant owners in D.C. that it has to be expensive to be good, first of all that's not true, second of all even the expensive restaurants suck. Ever been to Adams Morgan? Not during the school year, the college kids are everywhere and watching drunk underage bleach blonde girls lose their liquor all over the floor while desperately trying to get some Abercrombie looking model to take them home gets old after awhile. What about Georgetown? Well if you like the idea of taking an overpriced cab there or walking a good fifteen minutes from the nearest metro. But then of course how will you get home? The metro conveniently closes at 2 and cab drivers overcharge anyone they can to cross the line into VA or change quadrants did I mention most of the people wanting to go out are 20-somethings making next to nothing in an overpriced city?

Yet we all live here, love it or hate it but a city? I think not.

Well, that's my story.